Just Another Day

Too much made about these Days, I hear – Father's Day , Valentines Day , Women's Day . Possibly .

I read with interest articles on why on earth we need a special day for women . Much of it true. Another drop in the ocean, another way to be able to make a noise , albeit for a short while.

But here’s what I think . I too don’t believe that one day doesn’t suffice to celebrate or address women of this world. Maybe 365 would do . For the urban , privileged, the off the cuff reaction is ‘ C’mon. Why all the fuss, hey why don’t we have a Men’s Day too ‘. (Well for one, men don’t need the leg up.) It seems a little indulgent , maybe a tad self conscious – to go to seminars and walks and events to celebrate women, ourselves. Or then again, maybe not .

Women Leadership and Empowerment , albeit from a corporate perspective, is an important issue with me. At several of these events , there are women who are listening , who haven’t realized that other women have similar experiences , problems, concerns, and they grow stronger with that knowledge They talk to the experts, listen to role models, they pick up advice , and many go back , validated , relieved , empowered, a trifle more centred , and happier . They know how much better off they are compared to many of their rural, poorer sisters who have not the luxury of discussion or debate, just the fight for existence. .

At one event , one young woman spoke impassionedly about the guilt she feels. Guilt when she walks in through the door after work , and looks at her husband , child and mother in law. Time away from them is time she cannot justify , but she is economically independent . 50 other women respond as one. They know how she feels , all of us do . And she has to take ownership for her own life and space in the modern world, and she has to stop letting other push her buttons. A 50 year old woman is keen to get to work , but she did a year in an NGO before she was married, and its been 25 years since then . Who will employ a 50 year old, she says and her perplexed husband is asking her why work NOW . So is she , but she thinks she wants to , but she doesn’t know why . A few hours bonding with other women present , and she is stronger , and she realized she is ‘allowed ‘ her time in the sun, and now, she now knows how. If just these two women felt stronger , better , I think it would be worth it . And if the woman’s husband just feels like he should order in dinner to treat his wife for the day as a token , maybe that isn’t such a bad thing either .

Of course its foolish to have just one day dedicated to Women ,and maybe we should legislate 365. Of course it doesn’t make all the ills women face go away , it doesn’t address the sickening issue of female feticide, the appalling fear in which many women live, the abuse and fear some face. Marketing promotions, special offers at supermarkets, pubs, boutiques and shops may undermine the importance of the event , and convert into a gigantic circus, but its superficial-ness does not take away that it is well meaning , it’s a spotlight , provides a platform, its gets focus on women’s issues . While we may pick up the candy floss, we also need to get the structure and foundations right . Lets suppose we are able to address 3.6 % of the issues faced by that one day and its resultant conferences , seminars and boring speeches, the centre stage that it brings women. Oughtn’t we fix all the 100% at one shot , and isn’t this all tokenism , you might say . The fact that because of the one silly day you and I look differently at our maids, our friends, and perhaps some of the less fortunate, is a tip of the iceberg . However, I think we should step back, be a tad less churlish and let that 3.6% percent happen. World Hunger Day hasn’t stopped Ethipia, but maybe its made a dent . That’s good.

There are dark places in this room, and there are some corners smoldering with age old neglect and fear that is fetid . Here is candle that is lit in this near corner, flickering shadows off the ceiling . Yes, we absolutely do need to light up the whole room, harshly expose the whole space , scrub the fungus off the walls, pull down the smelly walls perhaps, Surely extinguishing that one happy candle in the room isn’t quite going to save the world . On the other hand, on the off chance that it might, perhaps we could just let it burn .

My views – lets get the electricians , fix up the fluorescent tube lights, lets clean up -but in the meanwhile , there’s no need to blow this candle out.